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"Drachealter"

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"Drachealter"

Post by rhasta3000 on Tue Jul 13 2010, 00:06

I made this story because I was bored. But I'm not a good story writer, not like Bera Very Happy, but I just want to post it here so that I won't take any wasted space in my laptop lol!

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Feuer, Wasser, Erde, Luft, Blitz.

5 different clans fighting for domination in Todesfall. They waged war for thousands of years, passing the conflict through generations. But there came a time when the war came to an end, when an unknown creature from the skies known only as "Drachel" unleashed an unknown power, which awakened some creatures that were never believed to have existed, Dragons. This waged a new, bloodier conflict between humans and dragons and caused all five clans to unite and prevent the dragons from overpowering them and bring destruction to Todesfall. This was the start of "Drachealter", the Age of Dragons.

The first appearance of the dragons brought chaos and destruction in the peaceful city of Hoffestadt. Many who fought against the them found inevitable death, and only a few survived and fled from the city of burning piles and rubble brought upon by these ruthless creatures. Among those who fled was a young man named Verne.

Verne Claudius, a teenager, was one of the 27 survivors in the Attack of Hoffestadt. He lived from a low-class family, his father worked as a miner while his mother left passed away when she gave birth to him. He was the youngest among his 5 siblings. But unfortunately, he was the only left in the family when the dragons attacked and the only memory left by his family was the black amulet that his father found while he was mining and gave it to him.

What will become of this unfortunate man and what will be the connection of the black amulet in avenging his family? Find out in the first chapter of the story, "Schwarz Jager Appears!"


Last edited by rhasta3000 on Tue Jul 13 2010, 01:57; edited 2 times in total

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Re: "Drachealter"

Post by Beejay1231 on Tue Jul 13 2010, 00:07

I'll read this later and give a small review. Very Happy

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Re: "Drachealter"

Post by Beejay1231 on Tue Jul 13 2010, 00:41

A good start of the story but some parts were kind of redundant (only few). Although I'm not a fan of German words, I'll give this a break. Very Happy

Good luck with this!

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Writing high fantasy, children's fantasy, life, romance, science fiction, and supernatural stories.

Multimedia and Technology:
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Re: "Drachealter"

Post by rhasta3000 on Tue Jul 13 2010, 01:45

Ohh, yeah, I was kinda redundant because I can't think of another sentence to place after another one. I think I still need to read a lot of things to have a guide in story writing. But, yeah I'll try to fix it..... maybe tomorrow...

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Re: "Drachealter"

Post by Beejay1231 on Tue Jul 13 2010, 02:01

rhasta3000 wrote:Ohh, yeah, I was kinda redundant because I can't think of another sentence to place after another one. I think I still need to read a lot of things to have a guide in story writing. But, yeah I'll try to fix it..... maybe tomorrow...

Don't worry. I'll gladly help if you want some help. Anyways, if you want to improve your structure, first, read materials that are of the same genre with yours. That's the trick! Very Happy

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My specialties:

Literature:
Writing high fantasy, children's fantasy, life, romance, science fiction, and supernatural stories.

Multimedia and Technology:
Image editing: Adobe Photoshop, Picasa
Video editing: Windows Movie Maker (previous), Adobe After Effects, Sony Vegas Pro 9.0, Avid Liquid 7.2
Music: WavePad Sound Editor
Others: Film directing, Film writing, Creative direction, Producing, Film or video editing, Acting
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User Title : Sexiest Man Alive
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